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 A different story about McBloo ace and his Brother...

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McBloo Ace
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PostSubject: A different story about McBloo ace and his Brother...   Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:29 am

I'm sure Greenganon if you've ever been to character stories on Fusionfall forums or OrangeHeart or Kabob799 you guys might know I already have three chapters... Well I think I'm gonna make another story about my character McBloo Ace, but the stories gonna be alot different this will be Part 1.

Part 1, The World , Fuse, is all this news?

[ The ground starts to shake ]

McBloo Ace: Whoa what was that? I know maybe Double D knows!

[ Goes outside his house ]

McBloo Ace: ...Hey has anybody seen my baby brother? Okay, hes not really a baby but hes only four. His name is McRed Jake kinda like my name, McBloo Ace.

McRed Jake: Brother look at the sky!

[ Mcbloo looks up ]

McBloo Ace: Holy cow!

[ Runs over to Wilt ]

McBloo Ace: Whats happening Wilt? Where's Double D? I need to see him.

Wilt: I don't know, sorry, is that okay? If not, I'm real sorry.

[ Goes to over to the scammer, Eddy. Thinking to himself, I call him scammer because, well, hes a scammer. Have you seen Double D?

Scammer: Who sockhead? I thought I saw him go to some place and he hasn't returned for the whole day now... Okay that wasn't for free, now what do you have?

[ McBloo throws 5 dollars at him ]

McBloo Ace: Here, that information was really helpful.

[ Eddy grabs the money automatically ]

Scammer: Thanks McBloo! If I get more info of Double D I'll tell ya for money... or jawbreakers.

Dexter: Hey I heard your looking for Double D

McBloo Ace: Yeah, where is he


Dexter: I'm afraid he got killed somewhere, by someone called Fusion Double D McBloo... How would you like to help save the universe?

McBloo Ace: You bet I would!

Dexter: Then we only need one time machine piece go get it, Fusion Numbuh 2 should have it.

McBloo Ace: I'll get it!!

To be continued....





Okay I have some things to tell you guys. First of all this is not really how the game starts out and second of all I might not put a second part... What do you guys think? Should I or continue with the fourth part for McBloo Ace's other storie I think I'm gonna work on character stories on forums I will make a second part except one thing.... in the second part in the storie mcbloo finds fusion number 2, buttercup, edd, and edwardo all fusion and they had his brother he killed them all then he was so weak that he died when they got to the past so then he told his brother mcred jake. "take this potion it will make you as old as I am. I don't need it considering I'm gonna die.and so then mcred jake will become the main person but on my chracter stories on fusion fall forums mcbloo will not die. there both stories so one he dies the other he doesn't!

Story Revised and Edited by Greenganon Very Happy!
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PostSubject: Hmm   Mon Mar 30, 2009 1:03 pm

I have not looked at those character story pages, only because there are too many pieces of story from different stories, and it gets me mixed up very easily. But I will go look for yours now that I know one of them is yours.

Otherwise I don't think its too bad a story, I can patch it up for you if you would like. I find errors in my stuff that I go back and fix when I reread it all the time.

On the last part, I think you should do whatever you want to really. If it's not what you want to do, whats the point? I would hate making a story if I didn't like how it was going. Just try not to be too confusing ok. If anybody asks about anything you can always just answer their questions later you know.

Great story!

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PostSubject: thanks!   Mon Mar 30, 2009 3:34 pm

it would be helpful if you could fix the errors. now here it is part 2.

Part 2, a final time...ace


mcbloo ace: okay well I need to get the last piece and fusionnumber 2 has it...! I don't have any armor or weapons...! I know! I'll go to green maybe he can let me borrow something! [runs to greens house] okay here gos! [rings doorbell]

green:? hello mcbloo!

mcbloo ace: green the worlds gonna be taken over and your just sitting there doing nothing!!!???

green: I wouldn't really say that. [ presses a button] behold I'm helping them by makeing some weapons and armor.

mcbloo ace:!!! hey want to go with me and get the last time machine piece?

green: sure! where is it?

mcbloo ace: fusion number2 has it! ...dexter on the nanocom just told me he went to the...oh no!

green;??what?

mcbloo ace: hes here at the cul-de-sac......... Crying or Very sad

[hears a huge shake]

mcbloo ace and green look outside

mcbloo ace:...no way...

green:...

fusion number 2, fusion edd, fusion edwardo, and fusion buttercup were all at the cul-de-sac!!!!!!!!!!!

mcbloo ace: oh no look!

[looks up and see his baby brother got hit from an attack] oh no mcred you okay?

mcred: ...I'm....fine....ace.... becuase I got nano!
[mcred takes out a nano buttercup] take this stun!

green; wow mcbloo for a four year old your brother surived that eruption attack with no armor on!
mcbloo ace:...hes still hurt let me take care of this...green...mcred jake me and double-d has made this machine for three whole months it only works one time then its gone for ever. it destorys four fusion and you can't make another one because we got this ingreddent from fuses lair and its all gone...

green: Cool! Now you can blast them!

mcbloo ace: thats the bad part to use it one must sacravice there life...I will do it goodbye mcred jake...my brother. And goodbuy my best friend green and one more thing. mcred jake my little brother drink this and it will make you 11 years old thats how old I am drink it before I die.

mcred jake: mcbloo I can't lose you brother! I will never get to see you again!

mcbloo ace: actually when you go to the past see my in the cul-de-sac I'll be there Wink . I will still be eleven because well take this other pothion and give it to me when you see me in the past I will drink it and it will make me 11 at that time. goodbuy guys see you in the past.... [triggers the switch]...[ all those 4 fusions dye 4 nanos come out.] oh and my last words will ya please take care of my four nanos here and give them to me in the past?

mcred jake: we will right Green?

green: right jake.

mcbloo ace goodbuy... pale [disappears into the light]

mcred jake:[starts crying] I shouldn't be crying considering I'm 11 now but I miss brother.

dexter: hurry green and mcred jake the worlds getting taken over go to the time machine!

mcred and green:{sigh} here goes a long adventure.

To be continued...


okay that was the second part plan to make the third sometime also green I put you in here sorry if I made you sound weird. and yes...well this story gets confusing so I won't be doing it too much it gets kinda hard to make long stories if you know what I mean. hope you liked it! and the third part coming soon!
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PostSubject: Yeah I know what you mean   Mon Mar 30, 2009 3:46 pm

I thought it was pretty good really, In fact it ties in with a piece of my story in an odd way. Due to the incredible thing to happen in chapter 4, I would likely go into armor selling if I wasn't having to fight. But thats another story -.0 Anywho, I'm editing your first part now. THe great thing about my forums is I can do that sort of thing to help ya out Smile

Another thing, I can change around what I say a little to be more like me if you want, but I won't do that without your permission, I'm just that way, I don't do anything without peoples permissions, you remember I even ask people if they want to be in my own story lol!

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PostSubject: go ahead!   Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:12 pm

go ahad you can change what you want to say I don't mind at all! You have my permission to change it!
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PostSubject: Whew   Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:21 pm

Ok, I'll get on that soon, took me awhile to edit out all the kinks in the first part, but I think I did pretty well, see what you think of the remastered version. Very Happy

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PostSubject: Part 3!   Sun Apr 05, 2009 12:54 am

All right now heres part three! hope you like it!

Part 3, a past of the past?

McRed Jake: whoa check it out green its looks much clearer and not so much green!

Green: well this is he past remember that!

McRed Jake: [ looks up at green and thinks to self ] man greens so brave and he should be for example he has a huge crush on bubbles he always makes me laff! and plus I remember when he helped double-d save eddy from getting killed by a fusion spawn that snuck up behind him! or but the most brave thing I think he ever done was when he helped doble-d with the nano com pieces in goats junkyard!

nano eddy: whats the matter McRed Jake as your brothers nano I must help you...for a jawbreaker...just kidding but it would be nice!

[ mcred throws a jawbreaker at nano eddy ] thanks kid!

computertress: I am afraid that I can't let you be alone so please pick a guild.

McRed Jake: I pick double-d because my brother does him!...!

Green: I pick...ben!

McRed Jake: lets go find my brother!
[someones yells at them hold it!
???: can you help me? I need a fusion destoryed and I can't do it myself! said a girl with a giant red bow and long orange hair

McRed Jake: [thinks to self ] she wears a big bow, orange hair...shes blossom! [McRed Jake actually kinda has a crush on her ] [ says out loud] ] of course sweet babe! :

Blossom: Shocked what did you say?...

McRed Jake:ahhh Embarassed ... I mean blossom!

To be continued...

This chapter I didn't make very long but its still kinda funny what he calls blossom by accident even though he does have a crush on her. then again remember hes just eleven now instead of four because his brother gave him a pothion. On the next part of the chapter... McRed Jake helps fight, confesses to blossom, but will there be a problem? will he see his brother? will he beat the fusion? find out! hope you liked this.
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PostSubject: Re: A different story about McBloo ace and his Brother...   Sun Apr 05, 2009 4:26 am

Very funny! Though I'm not sure you could post that part on the Official Forums xD!

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PostSubject: I know!   Sun Apr 05, 2009 10:26 am

I know that actually he was gonna say your pretty but I figured this would be kinda more funny anyways I'm super busy and I still have to finish my report so i won't be on all day but I'm expected to get part four on then that will be the whole first chapter!
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PostSubject: Funny   Sun Apr 05, 2009 11:20 am

[McRed Jake: [thinks to self ] she wears a big bow, orange hair...shes blossom! [McRed Jake actually kinda has a crush on her ] [ says out loud] ] of course sweet babe! :

Blossom: Shocked what did you say?...

McRed Jake:ahhh Embarassed ... I mean blossom!

Ha ha! That part's funny!
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PostSubject: thanks!   Sun Apr 05, 2009 11:29 am

thanks for the comment I thought it was pretty funny also kinda weird that I mcbloo ace have been in some people character stories I even remember somebody asking greengann who mcbloo was he thought I was a fusion or a imaginary friend! well anyways if you didn't read the first and second part you'll relize that mcbloo ace dies saving his brother mcred jake and his friend green or at least a little bit to save the world, but mcred jake will meet his brother in the pasy whitch hes already in.
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PostSubject: Re: A different story about McBloo ace and his Brother...   Sun Apr 05, 2009 6:34 pm

Yes I remember that one, Motorgalatic asked that. I laughed a little when I read it.

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PostSubject: My fan fic   Sun Apr 05, 2009 7:08 pm

Hey McBloo, can I put you in my fan fic? I know to put you. Also, could McRed be in it?
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PostSubject: Well...   Mon Apr 06, 2009 9:21 pm

Prof Old you can use mcbloo ace but I'm sorry to tell you this but you can't use mcred jake...sorry I just know its gonna make alot of commution or alot of stuff for people so I think mcbloo is enough. but your welcome to put my character mcbloo ace! hes actually my storngest person level 12! anyways I feel bad you can't use mcred jake so instead heres a sneak peek of the next part...

mcred jake: green? are you there? I think I'm lost...

green: I'm here mcred.

mcred jake: thats good I am frightened I wish my brother was here hes pretty brave.

green: don't worry jake! We will see him here this is the past!

mcred jake: yeah your right I....did you hear that??...!!???????? [ hears a shake near the ground ] a fusion comes out of nowere...

mcred jake: ahhh!!!!!!!! its fusion... thats all of the sneak peak no you can't use mcred jake but you can use mcbloo!
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PostSubject: heres part three!   Tue Apr 07, 2009 8:50 pm

okay guys this took awhile but I am ready here goes!

Part 4, a unexpected...cheese?

McRed Jake: blossom weres the fusion?
Blossom: The last time I seen her she was in Pokey Oaks Middle School!

McRed Jake: hey green want to come with?
Green: sure! go ahead!

???: hang on!
Green: Huh? Who said that?
Ben: green! I've been trying to contact you the nanocom nots ready yet so this is a holagram. be careful I sence a fusion near!...And its not fusion Blossom... Ben out!

Green: whoa we better be careful... McRed you okay?

McRed Jake:Green are you there? I think I'm lost...

Green: I'm here McRed.

McRed Jake: I miss by brother...hey whats that noise?
[ ground starts to shake ] a fusion! its fusion bloo?

fusion bloo: [ smiles widley with its big huge mouth ] [ zaps a laser ] ....

To be continued if you guys want to be in my second season thats chapter 5 so it will be in two parts then it will be ask me.
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PostSubject: Re: A different story about McBloo ace and his Brother...   Tue Apr 07, 2009 9:08 pm

Added a fusion into the mix, eh? Nice work!
I promise I am getting around to editing these for you but I have soo much to do. At least they can read them thats all thats important right?

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PostSubject: yep!   Tue Apr 07, 2009 9:15 pm

You bet I am I have to go to bed now. green I can't do fusionfall tommorow on wensday but on friday I can post to you and we can meet on fusion fall!
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PostSubject: Re: A different story about McBloo ace and his Brother...   Tue Apr 07, 2009 9:17 pm

Oky dokey sounds good!

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PostSubject: All right!   Thu Apr 09, 2009 6:21 pm

Cool! Tommorow is Friday Green! I will private message you when I'm on also. The next part of my fan fic here should be today!
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PostSubject: Re: A different story about McBloo ace and his Brother...   Thu Apr 09, 2009 9:13 pm

Ok I will definatly get on tomorrow but it will probably be in the afternoon. And sorry about the party being on saturday, it wasn't completely my idea, I'm hosting it with 5 other people so it had to be the right time for all of us to be there.

I hope you understand =(

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PostSubject: chapter 2!   Sun Apr 12, 2009 8:59 pm

here it is Chapter 2, part one and if your wondering why I called part four an unexpexted...cheese? this will show why!

Chapter 2 part 1, A Weirdo Saves the Day!

fusion bloo: [ gets ready to attack ] mwahahahahahah

???: I like cereal!
[everyone stops fighting and looks at the person]

Cheese: I like chocolate milk!

McRed Jake: Cheese what are you doing here? theres a fusion Bloo here attacking us and you come out of nowere! your gonna get killed!

Cheese: [starts moaning] No! Chocolate milk!
[fusion Bloo attacks everyone and stuns them]

McRed Jake and Green: Oh no! we were stunned.

Cheese: [snaps out of stun] I'm a horsey! Baaaa Baaa! Now your a horsey giddy up! [jumps and tackles fusion bloo]

Fusion Bloo: [says in a gross goupy wierd voice] get off!

Cheese: [covers fusion bloos mouth and whispers slightly] Quiet Duckie!

McRed Jake: I'm not stunned anymore watch out Green! Perfect Cheese hold him alittle bit more! [Blasts fusion Bloo with a special lemon pop ray and defeats him.]

nano bloo: [two came out one for Green and one for McRed Jake] Bloo! thaks know you have the great bloo at your service! Ypour lucky you have me!

McRed Jake: wow I can't believe cheese actually saved the day! [sees something in the corner] Huh whos that?

Bloo: help let me out of here!

[later] McRed Jake: so let me get this straight you went tobuy paint for a durby down that big hill and fusion bloo stole it?

Bloo: exactlly that greedy little fusion. I wonder what he wanted it for? Well who cares anyways now I can paint hot rod flams on the derby car!

[cheese says right away] Bunnies!

Bloo: Hot rod flames!

Cheese: bunnies!

Bloo: hot rod flames!

Cheese: Bunnies!

Bloo:Hottttt Roddddd Flammmmesss!

Cheese:Bunnniiiiieeeesss!
[continues for another minute]

McRedJake: Enough! we'll do hot rod flame with bunnies in them!

Bloo: this is so stupid. Well bye McRed Jake and Green I probablly be the dizzy carnival.

To be continued....

Liked this storie it had some funny parts because of Cheese. In case you guys didn't know the horsey part and quiet duckie was from episodes of cheese on fosters home, and the hot rod flames and bunnies part was from the first episode when cheese came on! Tell me what you thought about this!
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PostSubject: Re: A different story about McBloo ace and his Brother...   Sun Apr 12, 2009 11:07 pm

Lol XD

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PostSubject: Re: A different story about McBloo ace and his Brother...   Thu Apr 16, 2009 3:27 pm

!ynnuF
!yad sdrawkcab st'I .S.P
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PostSubject: Re: A different story about McBloo ace and his Brother...   Thu Apr 16, 2009 3:38 pm

Darn it! Nobody ever warns me about backwards day anymore! >_<

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PostSubject: Re: A different story about McBloo ace and his Brother...   Thu Apr 16, 2009 4:37 pm

Suspect yad sdrawkcab a s'erehT Suspect

looC Smile

king yelims gnik eht vul I king
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